Getting married in front of strangers?

Did it ever happen to you to go at a wedding ceremony or after-wedding cocktail/dinner without knowing the married couple at all?  Well, then you must know what it feels like discovering their happiness on that day, seeing all the other people you don’t know either and being generally focused on the food – the only thing you knew would be present.  But I got to ponder and go a bit further than the above description of ‘what it feels like’.

The thought of it first struck me a few months ago, when I was invited to wedding’s eve prayers and dinner.  The fact is that I didn’t know that person at all and I felt this ‘alienation’ as I got in the hall and that my eyes met hers.  It was just like ‘ok, nice to meet you’ and that was just totally weird

I just thought what was going on in her bride mind, seeing most surely loads of people she doesn’t know on the occasion of the wedding.  The poor girl was just there, sitting and watching a catwalk of people whom she hadn’t seen before rejoicing on her wedding.

“Am I getting married in front of a ‘bunch’ of strangers?”

There you go, the word is said: STRANGERS!  At first thought, I found that ‘submissive attitude’ towards the guests awkward.  I mean, after all, it’s your wedding, your D-day, isn’t it?

But then, I realized that in some way, a marriage is just making public what is already happening in the private, it is officialising feelings and a relationship.  In this view, why not having many people in, celebrating and congratulating?  Be it the family of your parents’ or uncles’/aunts’ colleagues whom they didn’t beforehand know themselves.

In fact, when I once went congratulating the newly married, their thank you seemed to me so true, so sincere.  It’s very far from the random thank you we give or receive everyday, it was a real one as if they really meant it – to each and every person congratulating them.  And it got me thinking: “but are my ‘congratulations’ sincere?”  It indeed wasn’t as deep of meaning as their thank you seemed to be, though I had no reason not to be happy that these two people I first saw, getting married.

What was strikingly in it all, was that they were grateful t the wishes of happiness to everyone who came to them, they were just accepting all the good energy.  That may be what wedding is all about – accepting the blessing of others on your relationship


This pondering did broaden my mind, though I still believe it’s a question of personality and choice to have a crowd, among which stands many strangers, or a warm and intimate group of people invited at your wedding.  As long as it is a choice of both persons in the couple and not an imposed decision by one or another, or just to please the parents or in-laws, then both choices can be very positive indeed.


One Response to “Getting married in front of strangers?”

  1. Houriiyah Says:

    hmmm yeah.. good pondering.. what i personally think is that this ceremony has got to be intimate. that is why i don’t enjoy going to weddings where i don’t personally know the married couple and i wouldn’t want people i don’t know to be at my wedding one day. at least i knw that my parents agree with that too..

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